Ta-Nehisi Coates on Why Whites Like His Writing – The Daily Beast


I was naive to think that my whiteness and privilege would inoculate my marriage from racism. Instead, I must now also be aware of what Ta-Nehisi Coates calls “the violence against the black body” and be hyper-vigilant to secure our safety. It has changed my values and outlook on life. Today I’m sad because the reality is finally dawning on me on the similar but separate spheres that are literally black and white. This sadness is a privilege also since I can choose which sphere to operate; for my husband this choice is not optional.


‘The history is what the history is. And it is disrespectful, to white people, to soften the history.’

Source: Ta-Nehisi Coates on Why Whites Like His Writing – The Daily Beast


Fake Cover Letters Expose Discrimination Against Disabled – The New York Times


The New York Times published an article today discussing a recent study that seems to expose discrimination against the disabled during the hiring process.  While this is no surprise to me, I am a little concerned that New York state is simultaneously planning to shut down sheltered workshops.  This means that there will be more push for integration into the workplace.  I welcome this initiative and think it is a compassionate way for those who have disabilities to find work and for employers to find exemplary employees.

My concern lies in the way the integration occurs.  My experience is that after initial job coaching, the disabled employee, who had autism, was left with little supervision. She ended up not fully understanding job tasks and created a huge archiving catastrophe by misfiling hundreds of files. She even took files that were filed correctly and misfiled them. In the break room she ended up being shunned since her social skills made her a pariah.  If she was gently redirected or reminded she was being rude, she placed you on her black list and ignored you in the future.  Eventually everyone rearranged their schedules to avoid her in the break room and no one would talk to her.

I believe she needed more supervision than was given and more social skill coaching than a regular employee required.  This would be accommodation beyond the cliche of a ramp and modified restroom and therefore a program is needed for this type of integration.  I am not reading about this types of workplace integration programs and this absence concerns me.

Employers were less likely to respond to applicants who said they had a disability, researchers show.

Source: Fake Cover Letters Expose Discrimination Against Disabled – The New York Times

Leaving Kansas


We’re hitting the trail again.

Leaving the Wheat State for the Empire State–New York!

We have found renters for the house and I’ve sold some things, like the chair pictured.20150616_135755 I hated that thing. It was supposed to be leather, but once we got it out of the box and assembled we realized it was vinyl….and didn’t want to disassemble it take it back. It was never comfortable. Glad to be rid of it.

We have packed up the house and it is empty. The cats are displaced and confused because they have lost all their soft window napping spots. I have tried to make alternate spots on stacks of boxes, but you can tell they aren’t pleased!

I really liked the color of the walls in the living room. As time passed, I realized it was the color of the ocean in Mexico which I loved. Can you see the similarity?

The older I get, the more I believe the truth of being a “Water” sign astrologically, because I do love water.  Strangely, however, I hate taking showers. Mostly because bathrooms gross me out.  But I digress.

Surprisingly, I have mixed feelings about leaving.  I am sad that things “didn’t work out” in Kansas and we must move….again.  I am sad that the opportunities for us in Kansas were not as plentiful as once anticipated and that I have to leave my lovely home and garden.

On the flip side, I’m ecstatic to leave Kansas because I never fit in here and the political climate is just a nightmare.

I am looking forward to exploring a new region and possibly getting a cool job.

I am glad to moving closer to the ocean and mountains, although the East Coast is different from the West Coast, I’m sure.

We’ll be hitting the road tomorrow and I’ll try to blog about the road trip, since I’ve never been past Kansas City!

So long, Kansas.  Hello, New York!

Taking the time to say Goodbye


Ann & ChrisI just watched the Parks and Recreation episode where Ann & Chris move to Michigan (click on link for episode).   I was unprepared that these two characters were leaving the show for good!  For some reason, I thought that they were going to change their minds and their proposed departures were just a temporary plot twist.

Anyway, I found myself sad that they were leaving, and I realized that I hadn’t really conducted proper goodbyes when I moved to Kansas from Oregon.  I started thinking about closure and ending friendships, and I think now there were several factors adversely affecting my transition:

1) Most friends defriended me first.

I had recently gotten married and some of my “close” friends were upset that I had gotten married at all. They wanted me to remain their wingman. So they ended the friendship on those grounds.  There might have been time for reconciliation if I’d stayed in Oregon but moving away killed those options.

2) Our move was sudden.

On a cognitive level I had plenty of time to understand that we were planning to move, but the logistics of moving 1500 miles took only three weeks.  Looking back, this was not enough time to adequately say goodbye to my parents and friends, sort through belongings, and mentally prepare for a major life change.  I don’t think three weeks is adequate time for closure.

3)  I didn’t want my employer to know I was leaving.

In retrospect, I am sure there could have been a better way to handle this, but at the time, I was angry with my boss for laying off my husband (we worked for the same office) and I was retaliating by not giving ample leeway of my imminent departure.  Since I didn’t want my boss to know I was moving away, I didn’t tell any coworkers either, so I wasn’t able to say goodbye to my friends at work.  This proved to be a devastating mistake since I ruined chances to stay in touch with them as well as creating a sudden hole in my social network.  I went from having lots of buddies to having no one overnight. Very lonely, for sure.

I encourage you to read this post by the Modern Nomad.  It was helpful for me to sort through feelings since I’ve moved a lot too, so this probably contributes to my bad behavior of not properly saying goodbye to lots of people over the years, for many reasons.  Saying Goodbye | The Modern Nomad.

One thing I have learned and have already improved upon is conducting a proper goodbye at work.  I need to make sure to say goodbye adequately to non-work friends also.